What happens if I break up with someone I've introduced to my kids? Will the loss be traumatic for them? Is there any way they can continue a relationship with this other important adult? We're exploring resilience, creative relationship structures, and how to tell your children something has changed.

Creativity and non-traditional relationship structures aren't new ideas for polyamorous parents, but how can we bring those ideas into centering children's needs and transforming family relationships when parents break up or de-escalate a relationship?

Opening up an existing relationship might be full of excitement, or it might be full of fear, but for parents, there's an added concern about the effect on kids. If we open up, will our relationship change? Will the way we parent together change? Ultimately, will that hurt our children?

For monogamous, escalator relationships, introducing a partner to your children is Big Deal- there's an assumption that this person will eventually live with you, become a parent to the children, and be a very important part of their day to day lives. It's only natural to get stuck on the weight of that kind of partner introduction- but it closes off all the creativity of polyamorous relationships.

One of the most common questions I get in my polyam parenting group is when to introduce a new partner to my kids. You're excited, swept up in NRE, and it sure is convenient when you don't have to be away from your kids to spend time with this important person. But will it cause problems for your kids if you make the introduction too soon?

Probably the single most asked question I get from parents is "Should I tell my kids?" The answer is... maybe. David and I talk through when you might want to, when you definitely shouldn't, and how to think about making the decision.

So you've decided to tell your kids that you're polyamorous! Now what? Do you just casually introduce someone new to them as a partner? Do you sit them down and have a big talk? What if they react poorly? David and I break down what children need to know at different ages and developmental stages, strategies for talking to them, and more.